I, novice unnamed below, hereby solemnly swear, henceforth, that:
- I will strongly abhor all so-called schools of journalism and the drivel they teach
- I will wholly despise truth and report everything but those called ‘facts’
- No structured administration – governments, associations, business enterprises, etc., escapes my scathing words, impish imagery and/or stilted wrath
- I will fervently loathe all who talk sense, or preach moderation or talk or development, promising to call them all sorts of names, thwart their efforts and misinterpret their intentions
- I will only befriend he who pays me
- I will devotedly use a comprehensive list of foreign and local contacts that fully support me in belittling all national objectives, state secrets, law and order and/or denigrate state organs such as the judiciary, the legislative and the executive
- I will, invariably, invent stories where there is a dearth of those that I can tailor to my stunted views
- I will intentionally misuse and abrogate language, ethical standards, social etiquette as they do not further my cause
- Nothing remains sacrosanct, respect-worthy and beyond the reach of my pen, camera and cassette recorder regardless of cultural and moral considerations, and/or sensitivity.
Sulman Abdurahim
Ashgabat, Turkmenistan
